Cubicle Commando Gifts

"I can't decide which one of you should get the promotion, so I'm setting up a boxing match between you two to decide."

"It's a stealth suit. So I can stay off the boss's radar."

Harry liked working with his hands – but they didn't always get along.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Overworked in the office

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Another day at work would be one too many...

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

Work Slave

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

Do not think outside the box!

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

Busy day at the office.

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

The Corporate Rat.

Whack, Out of Whack.

"He said his screen is frozen again."

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

'They'll tell you this is an open office workspace, but watch out for the invisible fences.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

'I'm 43 years old. That's 64 in work years.'

The Picture of Dorian Gray's Soul.

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

'Are these billable hours?'