Cryptic Crusader Gifts

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

The Proust of Twitter

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

dog vs UFO...

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

Haven't Rented a Game in 2 Weeks.

'We've got to upgrade our computer system. Downloading information on this one takes too long.'

'We had to get him a seeing-eye dog.'

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

'Here comes the new kid.'

Robot Robber

'My thanks go first to the Nobel Committee for this great honor, and to my son who encouraged me to keep my mind agile with word games, and puzzles.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Quest for pirate's treasure - hidden prizes in consumer goods.

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

"You're still burying your bones? I store mine in the cloud now."

Game Addiction

'Nothing says Christmas like a game of 'Death Slayer 4'.'

Louis Pasteur Caricature

'Don't disturb your father for an hour he's busy doing the Five minute crossword.'

Let the profit-making begin!

"When is it my turn?"

Monk Crossword

'Your acceptance is tentative until we can rule on the question of your knowingly using pirated software.'

'Let's not overreact. We're just in solvent, not bankrupt.'

"Ms Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel the call to tech-support."

"We're very worried that John's homework has started to interfere with his computer gaming."

"Apparently we've introduced unconscious bias writing our algorithms."