Cryptocurrency Crusader Gifts

'Here comes the new kid.'

Santa and Bitcoins

God cries as bitcoin destroys the earth

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"I warned him not to keep his bitcoins under the mattress."

First Church of Non-Denominational Money Worship.

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

Farmers' Warnings.

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

Euro parachute is not keeping Europe aloft.

"Please buddy, can you spare a carbon credit?"

It's a Dog's life

Robot Robber

Energy performance certificate nailed to wall exhausts employer.

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

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"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

Super-Mario Draghi

"You're still burying your bones? I store mine in the cloud now."

'Just how much carbon are we supposed to offset?'

'It won't take bitcoins.'

'I wonder if everyone else is making as much effort as us to reduce global warming.'

"I don't get this. I know that you're a computer hacker and must have done many bad things. But your record is completely clean!"

"The dollar is falling!"

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'