Crumb Obliterator Gifts

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Fumes from furniture

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

'Maybe you shouldn't eat by your keyboard.'

"No Littering" sign in space.

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

The night watchman eats ribs at the museum.

"Some manage with a carrot, and others, with a stick. I find success with both."

'You really need to start washing your sock puppets.'

'Think of the advantages of having a monster living under your bed! You won't have to clean because I'll scare all the dust bunnies away.'

"The presentation is dreadful."

'You haven't been eating your carrots, have you?'

Accounts: Kill Bills.

'You've been eating crisps in bed again, haven't you?'

"One man's trash is another man's treasure. But in your case, another man's trash is ow your trash."

"I've told you, the bottom of the toaster is always full of bread crumbs..."

"He throws us a few crumbs, ...we eat, ..he feels good. I have no problem with that."

'Way to screw up again, pencil. Well here I come to save the day.'

"Behold! The creator of crumbs made this crumb from an even bigger crumb!"

"An office job would drive me crazy!...sitting at a desk all day!"

'At ease soldier. This is the mess hall.'

"I busted unions for 30 years until the company tossed me out without a pension."