Crumb Cleaner Gifts

"Thank God you're home. Someone crapped on the carpet again."

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Pest Control

'You wash and I'll dry.'

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

Tortoise polishing his shell

"That one killed my manservant, it fell on his head while he was vacuuming the carpet."

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

'Maybe you shouldn't eat by your keyboard.'

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'Only the high-traffic path needs cleaning - from the couch to the bar.'

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

"We have raccoons."

Woman in swimsuit vacuuming the lawn.

"We really need to have our rugs vacuumed professionally one of these days."

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

'...it's probably blood on the boardroom carpet.'

"It's a loaner until mine is back from the shop."

"It was worth it to get rid of the fleas!"

Where bee's wax really comes from.

"The good news is I've cleaned up my office. The bad news is I think I threw out my computer."

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

"If you two are through with your braised sirloin tips, I'll just go ahead and clear the table."

Marriage guidance

"You see spots in front of you? Have you cleaned your glasses lately?"

"The presentation is dreadful."

"So there really is a vacuum in outer space!"

'You've been eating crisps in bed again, haven't you?'

Christmas Party Hoover