Crumb Cleaner Gifts

Umpire's Banquet.

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"Thank God you're home. Someone crapped on the carpet again."

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Pest Control

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

'You wash and I'll dry.'

Tortoise polishing his shell

'Well, I don't believe it Your room is spotless And in just 10 minutes,,,'

"That one killed my manservant, it fell on his head while he was vacuuming the carpet."

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

'Maybe you shouldn't eat by your keyboard.'

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'Only the high-traffic path needs cleaning - from the couch to the bar.'

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

"We have raccoons."

Make it look like an accident. Carpet cleaners.

So that's what they mean by the "vacuum of space"! Vvrrrrr. WHOOSH!

Woman in swimsuit vacuuming the lawn.

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

"We really need to have our rugs vacuumed professionally one of these days."

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

'...it's probably blood on the boardroom carpet.'

"It's a loaner until mine is back from the shop."

Where bee's wax really comes from.

"It was worth it to get rid of the fleas!"

"The good news is I've cleaned up my office. The bad news is I think I threw out my computer."

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

"If you two are through with your braised sirloin tips, I'll just go ahead and clear the table."

"You see spots in front of you? Have you cleaned your glasses lately?"

"So there really is a vacuum in outer space!"

"The presentation is dreadful."

Marriage guidance

'You've been eating crisps in bed again, haven't you?'