Crown Connoisseur Gifts

"She's definitely had work done."

"If we went to war, wouldn't God be on the spot?"

'And what do you do?'

"I may be a newt, but I'm still King -- find that witch!"

King Edward VII

Crown Jewels

'The Burrito King.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Dog Walker

Shaved Ice

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Disraeli becomes Earl of Beaconsfield

Moliere

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

C Day Lewis.

King Richard I

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

"It turns out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

'Do you have an appointment?'

A lot of attention gets paid to the Earl of Sandwich, and rightfully so, but let's not forget to show some respect for that neglected Lord of Lunch, the Viscount of Potato Salad.

Good Cop, Bad Clown: 'Ok, ok I'll tell you what you want! Just make that creepy clown stop staring at me!'

'I got them to agree to a small settlement.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Your business plan needs work, I'm not feeling a tingle of moral remorse.'

"The Founding Fathers?! Ha! That’ll never stick!"

NBA on strike.

'I'm beginning to think that you're WILLFULLY apathetic!'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

'He was an evil king.'