Critters Counselor T-Shirts

Non Compos Mantis

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Have you tried biting him?"

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

"I see so much love reflected back in his adorable little face."

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

SPCA: USED CATS AND DOGS

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

"If you're looking to adopt a dog that's good with cats, may I suggest Ruffus."

Worm Appreciation Society!

The emotional rollercoaster of a Lab

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

"The thing is we lived in L.A.,...we never even needed mittens!"

'How do you want me to answer that question, Norm? As an attorney, or as your best friend?'

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

Dog on couch at psychiatrist office talking about love and liver snacks

Re-home Sweet Home

"How can you just sit there, wrapped in your own safe little world, when you know there are millions of squirrels out there?"

'You're allowed up on the couch.'