Canine Counselors T-Shirts

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

"God, they're needy."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Have you tried biting him?"

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

Marv was trying to teach Rufus how to be a REAL retriever.

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

STRIP Hambone: 'He refuses to come in'

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

"I see so much love reflected back in his adorable little face."

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

SPCA: USED CATS AND DOGS

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"

'Don't worry, we'll soon have you barking sane.'

"Fetch! What about a please?"

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

Good Dog!

"If you're looking to adopt a dog that's good with cats, may I suggest Ruffus."