Critter Counselor T-Shirts

"The thing is we lived in L.A.,...we never even needed mittens!"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"Have you tried biting him?"

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"I see so much love reflected back in his adorable little face."

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

SPCA: USED CATS AND DOGS

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

"If you're looking to adopt a dog that's good with cats, may I suggest Ruffus."

The emotional rollercoaster of a Lab

'Now tell me about your puppyhood.'

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

'How do you want me to answer that question, Norm? As an attorney, or as your best friend?'

Dog on couch at psychiatrist office talking about love and liver snacks

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

Re-home Sweet Home

'You're allowed up on the couch.'