Poultry Counselor T-Shirts

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

"I see so much love reflected back in his adorable little face."

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

SPCA: USED CATS AND DOGS

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'Tasty bird.'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"Sherlock Combs there said he believes it's an inside job."

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

Hen Night

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

The poultry mania - Cochin China Fowls

"If you're looking to adopt a dog that's good with cats, may I suggest Ruffus."

Maternity ward on the farm.

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"The thing is we lived in L.A.,...we never even needed mittens!"

Re-home Sweet Home

The Hen Commandments.

"It's about time! You guys have been MURDER on my hemorrhoids."

Dog Training For The Ninties

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

Non Compos Mantis

'Small, medium or large?'

"Just between us, I came first, but I shredded the evidence."

"We can't break the laws of nature, the workers can only lay a maximum of one egg a day: To increase production, you need to recruit..."

Chicken Little meets Chicken Medium.

"I believe in eggs, and I think that you all believe in eggs, too!"

"I don't know what it is, we just look fabulous in Cranberry."

"The flu is coming! The flu is coming!"

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"