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'If you look at paragraph 23 section 12 you'll see that your comprehensive life insurance does not in fact cover the thanksgiving holiday period.'

"So how do we know if they've got this helium virus?"

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

"Watch yourself, dude. I hear she has salmonella."

"My investment adviser told me to go for short term capital gains."

Growth hormones feed to chickens

Headless chicken views an identity parade

"I suppose it had to happen sooner or later."

'I told you innies are better than outies.'

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

"Just between us, I came first, but I shredded the evidence."

Mother Clucker

"It's getting harder and harder to find a man with a head on his shoulders."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Chicken Little meets Chicken Medium.

'Tastes like tuna.'

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

"I think I'm ovulating."

Chicken visiting hours

The Rooster Comedian.

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

New York Scatological Society

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

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