Critter Counselor Mugs

"The thing is we lived in L.A.,...we never even needed mittens!"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Have you tried biting him?"

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"I see so much love reflected back in his adorable little face."

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

SPCA: USED CATS AND DOGS

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

You have a lot of patients coming to your for counseling! Yeah, I just saw a supernova who is dealing with burnout. Later, I'll see Pluto about his inferiority complex and a black hole who wants to fill a void in its life. Then Hailey's Comet and his wife will discuss why he's rarely there for her. Since your practice went universal it just keeps expanding! You're so busy! Yeah, my head is spinning!

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

"If you're looking to adopt a dog that's good with cats, may I suggest Ruffus."

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

The emotional rollercoaster of a Lab

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

'Now tell me about your puppyhood.'

'How do you want me to answer that question, Norm? As an attorney, or as your best friend?'

Dog on couch at psychiatrist office talking about love and liver snacks

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

Fido phones

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