Critter Commander T-Shirts

Dad, I want a pet!

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Cat in a tank...

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

Dog with Anchor Lead

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

Dog training

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Top dogs IN and OUT trays

'Ants of all lands, unite!'

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

'What a lot of fuss, fancy being afraid of an 'itsy-bitsy' little mouse like this!'

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

"Still on your left."

Dog walker / Cat walker.

(Overachieving Dog) (Just get me the paper and let Mr. Rather go!)

'Maybe I shouldn't have brought the termites,'

'The speaker for tonight's ceremony will be our valedictorian. Speak, boy, speak.'

"Sorry, nature calls, I'll be back in five minutes: Suzie, you're in charge..."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'There's a cat in our yard! Release the hounds!'

"Poppy has left the dog kennel. I repeat Poppy has left the dog kennel...Yes, yes, we have a code brown!"

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

"Close-order drill! Everybody fall in!"

"The thing is we lived in L.A.,...we never even needed mittens!"

'That's the last time I trust you to train the dog!'