Critics Of Corporate Culture Gifts

'We will no longer make major decisions based upon our playing 'one potato; two potato'...'

'Heads, we downsize labor. Tails, we downsize management perks...the good news is it's a two headed coin!'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Spot the difference.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Lethal Presentation

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

Satya Nutella

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

"It's o.k., come on out."

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'