Corporate Culture Critiquer Gifts

'Right, we'll vote on it..all those in favour say 'aye'...all those against say 'I resign'.'

"I'm here today to talk to you about the dark side of outsourcing."

"And here's your office..."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Spot the difference.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Lethal Presentation

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

Satya Nutella

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"It's o.k., come on out."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'