Critic Of Fame Pillows

"I have no head for show business."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Amateurs."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

The new Physics

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Non Thought For The Day.

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."