Critic Of Fame T-Shirts

"I have no head for show business."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Reese Witherspoon

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Amateurs."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

The new Physics

Non Thought For The Day.

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Nick Cave

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'