Criminal Justice Professor Gifts

Overcrowding's becoming a real problem in our penal system

'In accordance with California guild lines, I sentence you to death. You will be taken to death row where you will die of old age.'

Do Guns Kill?

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Hmph. College kids.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

When Engineers Crack.

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"We make crime pay."

Police Statetion

Studied the Constitution. Didn't like it.

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

Subatomic particles

Intellectual Property

"And this will allow people the freedom to express themselves through the talking points of their choosing."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

American blood

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

The Giamatti era

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

What Does God Know?

Old West Bounty Hunter.

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'