Criminal Defense Gifts

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

'You lucked out -- the grand jury doesn't want to get involved.'

Justice 4 Ron

Trial by Media

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

When Engineers Crack.

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Police Statetion

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

Violent Crime Statistics

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

Good Cop, Annoying Kid.

American blood

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."