Civil Defense Gifts

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

dog vs UFO...

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

Free speech isn't cheap!

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

Justice 4 Ron

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

Bureau of Disappearing Civil Liberties.

"Mr. Miranda....we are using 'schedule 7' to hold you on suspicion of knowing someone who knew someone who was a whistleblower...."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

Domestic Spying Drones

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

'He started it!'

'Why is it always about me?'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"Impartiality becomes you."

I demand to see a lawyer. May I say, you've come to the right place.

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'