Criminal Career Aficionado Gifts

Done Thievin': 'There's no shame left any more...'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

The Elliot Ness monster.

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

The Investigation

Ancient Egyptian crime scenes.

'Make it look like an accident.'

Ignorance of the Law

Gangster's To-Do List

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

"Don't worry, honey. This is just for our murder podcast."

Bank Robbery Statistics

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."