Criminal Attorney Gifts

"Here are your choices. You can plead guilty."

"He's my attorney. Whatever happened to attorney-client privilege?"

'As your attorney I'm advising you to get another attorney.'

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

At least you have security!

'We're also charging you with talking on your cell phone in your getaway car.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

I love Lawyers

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."