Crime Watching Gifts

'Yeah, neighborhood crime. That's what I watch all the time 'cause our TV is broken.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

The Zoo.

Tourists

"Now I really hate poetry."

M.T. accidentally triggers the predator pursuit response.

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Joan Hickson

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"I think we may be related!"

TSA Noah

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

"He didn't do anything, Gregory. This is a zoo"

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'This is the last time I take you frog hunting!'

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

Just back from the psychological research center, Stanly couldn't help but think that he lived with a bunch of baboons.

Before the riots/after the riots

"Bet she says 'moo' before she says 'oink'."

Rogue elephant

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."