Crime Television Pillows

Police lineup

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Joan Hickson

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Now that's a win."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Slow Night

"#notguilty."

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

Next camera crew 5 mins

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Miami Mice

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'There's my place. Technically it's still a crime scene, but you're more than welcome to traipse through it.'

Cat points to the dog who injured him, at a police station.

"Paper or plastic?"