Crime Scene Kitchen Investigator Gifts

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Is the MSG local?"

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"True crime meets reality TV"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

Newton's Law and Order.

Bribery and Corruption.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

"I couldn't finish that book either."

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

Sewee-Cide.

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2