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'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

Murder photographs.

Reporter at a crime scene.

Newsroom: 'Police are on the lookout for a robber dubbed the 'if you write about me I'll hunt you down like a dog' bandit.'

"Anything you say will be taken down and edited for 'Crimewatch.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Press Freedom

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Gay Times...

Difference of Opinion

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

A little bird told me...

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"Now that's a win."

Man Reading Laptop.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

'He was a great writer'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.