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"Although my client was well aware of the falling crime rate, Your Honor, he chose not to be trendy."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

'Newgate - Exercise Yard'

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

'How do you expect me to concentrate when you're reading me my rights?'

"It's the terrifying story of a publisher brutally murdered by an author who had his book rejected."

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

"9-1-1, I'd like to report a great idea for a podcast."

Shakespeare in the park Mickey Spillane in the alley.

"No questions, your honor. It's all in my client's new book. Every member of the jury will find a free copy under their seats!"

A holster of heavies

'Hi. I'm Don.'

Murder/Mystery

"I have gathered you all here tonight to finally reveal which one of you killed Professor Sturm!"

"It's a Plodcast!"

"Dang...this guy isn't a spree killer or a religiously motivated terrorist! He's just a normal criminal. Switch off the camera."

Dashiell Hammett

In Agatha Christie's bathroom.

OJ Simpson - Pop Up If I Did It (Here's how it happened).

Book sections, 'crime' and 'master crime'.

Reporter at a crime scene.

"Oh, and a five and five ones."

'Aren't we lucky to be living in a nation of laws!'

Stolen Crime Books.

'What is WRONG with you?!!'