Crime Writer T-Shirts

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

"The wife? - oh she's gone on a long holiday down under..."

"9-1-1, I'd like to report a great idea for a podcast."

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

'Yeah - someone's put the finger on 'im, no mistake.'

"We can make you disappear very quickly my friend."

Dashiell Hammett

In Agatha Christie's bathroom.

"I'm a crime writer... a writer of wrongs and a righter of wrongs."

OJ Simpson - Pop Up If I Did It (Here's how it happened).

Fishy murder - Jack the Kipper

'No, I'm General Make-it-look-like-an-accident. General Accident is on holiday.'

'Hey, you in the upstairs apartment! How about using a silencer on that gun next time?'

Shakespeare in the park Mickey Spillane in the alley.

"Okay punk, make my day"

A holster of heavies

'and what do you do?'

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

'What is WRONG with you?!!'

Murder/Mystery

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"I'm sinking, no need to watch."

"I have gathered you all here tonight to finally reveal which one of you killed Professor Sturm!"

"I want to report a dénouement."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"Puss in cement boots"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

The Philip Marlow family

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces