Crime Novel Addict Gifts

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"International best seller! It's just a squirrel."

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

The Philip Marlow family

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

"We've hit the jackpot! It's Ed Sheeran's songwriting formula."

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

'Try to think of this as a learning experience.'

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

"Say, Chief, any progress on the pencil case?"

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

Book market

Dog detectives

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

"I couldn't finish that book either."

The Meeting

'Make it look like an accident.'

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

The Clown Hit

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

'Have you got any good 'whodunnits'...?'

Optician and the PI.

"Then I tried the move from business casual to white collar crime."

Burglar escapes from tower using Rapunzel's hair.