Novel Addict Gifts

"Joyce Carol Oates seems to have no trouble coming out with book after book."

"Do you ever get to the point where you think if you read another book you'll burst, but you do anyway, and you don't burst?"

Trilby - 'A human nightingale'.

'Please, give me any book.'

Book market

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thomas Mann.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Iris Murdoch

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"International best seller! It's just a squirrel."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

My Literary Influences

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"Oh my God, they're gassing refugees. Look at this family!"

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

'Is this your first book launch?'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

Library

Voltaire