Crime Lord Enthusiast Pillows

"Take a long drink, son. Someday it will all be yours."

The Elliot Ness monster.

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Police film evidence

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

Gangster's To-Do List

Ignorance of the Law

'Make it look like an accident.'

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

"Don't worry, honey. This is just for our murder podcast."

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

"Don't worry, boss, he ain't gonna be takin' his shoes off on an airplane no more."

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

Bank Robbery Statistics

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

Exposed and imprisoned.

Gullboy and Pigeonman

A convict escaping during the press scrum

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

'Emotional blackmail.'

You know retail is in a bad way when...

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'