Crime Lord Enthusiast Gifts

"Take a long drink, son. Someday it will all be yours."

The Elliot Ness monster.

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Police film evidence

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

'Make it look like an accident.'

Gangster's To-Do List

Ignorance of the Law

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

A convict escaping during the press scrum

"Don't worry, boss, he ain't gonna be takin' his shoes off on an airplane no more."

Exposed and imprisoned.

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

Gullboy and Pigeonman

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

Bank Robbery Statistics

"Don't worry, honey. This is just for our murder podcast."

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

'Emotional blackmail.'

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

You know retail is in a bad way when...

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'