Crime History Enthusiast Gifts

'Newgate - Exercise Yard'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

The Elliot Ness monster.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

"Paper or plastic?"

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

Ignorance of the Law

Gangster's To-Do List

'Make it look like an accident.'