Crime Caper Aficionado Gifts

'Leg it - we've left our prints all over the place'

The Elliot Ness monster.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

He loves the water.

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'Try to think of this as a learning experience.'

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

The Ballad of the Lavender Dot - Part Three

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

'Make it look like an accident.'

Ignorance of the Law

'So, what's it gonna be? Are we gonna watch a good cop show tonight, or a bad cop show?'

Gangster's To-Do List

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'