Cremation Service Gifts

Personalized Bronze Crematory Urns

'I sent out for everything.'

Come dine with me!

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Canape?

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"This is our soft opening."

'I always cry at weddings!'

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Burnt or Raw?

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

A Woman Holding Canapes

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'I was in the catering corps.'

Time for Tea!

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."