Cremation Curious Gifts

"All the cremating means fewer zombies."

Timmy has a great future in nano-technology.

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

"Hair spray"

'Maybe we should talk to him more, Malcolm.'

'Andrew loves taking things apart and putting them back together...except he can never actually put them back together...'

Gracie tries to invent a shrinking spray and squirts Baldo with it.

Philosophers studying meta-physical chemistry.

"Anything to declare aside from ever-lasting love and devotion to each other?"

The Big Bag Theory

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

"He has a pretty rare blood group."

"Dad, tell me about the birds and the bees and safeguards."

"Our motto here at Ace Funerals is... All Men are Cremated Equal."

Intensive Care in the Community

'Some PCB' - 'Little PCB' - 'No PCB'.

'We'll need a different package. It deems the new preservative dissolves cardboard.'

"This is our special isolation ward. You know how contagious yawning is..."

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

'It's your wife - firing off another text message!'

'While you're operating on me, how about throwing in some free liposuction?'

The Emperor's New Clothesline.

"Just who does He think He is?!!"

'Do you prefer sedentary rock or Jurassic fm?'

'Behind the scenes at a crematorium.'

A Reasonable Time For Concern - 'Hello Crematorium?'

'Remember when we had to go into a sound-proof telephone box to make a public phone call?'

"Here, if you don't believe me, listen for yourself!"

'I'm sorry, Mrs. Griswald... You've called me so often at my home that you now legally qualify as a friend and I can no longer treat you!"

"Would you say your imaginary pain is more or less severe than last visit?"

Mobile Crem

"I found a porno movie in your drawer. I guess that means you're curious about sex."

"O.K., let's just have a look-see at this pre-mortem."