Cosmetic Curious Gifts

"Hair spray"

'While you're operating on me, how about throwing in some free liposuction?'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

"If you put little crosses on your sevens people will think you're French."

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

Punch Initials - O

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

"She's had a lot of work done."

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

"Which one of these things is the soap?"