Credit Score Improvement Gifts

A man gets attacked by his credit report.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

'As your banker, I feel I should tell you, the more enlightened you become the more of a credit risk you become.'

"Our credit rating has improved. There's a pre-approved credit card in the report."

"He leaves behind a loving wife, two beautiful children and a credit score of 780."

'Are you kidding, you credit's better than ours.'

'Just a minute while I pull up your file.'

"Welcome to Illinois: Land of America's lowest credit rating!"

"His grades are in free fall, John. How can we get him to focus?"

'Good news! Some guy stole my identity online. Now he's saddled with my bad credit rating.'

"I take it your credit score has gone up?"

"We've been pre-disapproved for another loan."

'You'll never be as good as Morecambe and Wise,'

'A bank manager will always lend you money if you can prove you don't need it!'

"So, we've processed your loan application and I'm afraid that it doesn't look too promising!"

'We found the trouble Mr. Spencer. Your credit is no good!'

Cupid views his online credit rating.

A look into the future?!

Mort, you owe $856 on your tab. What are you talking about?! I pay my tab every month! Yes, but you've never paid the finance charge. It was clearly written on the back of the tab receipt that there's a 29.9% finance charge. I don't have that kind of money! I refuse to pay it! You can pay your finance charge in installments, but I'll have to add a finance charge. I'm calling congress!

'Every time I get paid my creditors form a flash mob.'

"Well, thanks anyway for sharing your financial plight with us."

'My grades could be better if the school had a data driven, evidence based curriculum in the classroom.'

'Oh yeah?! Well, my dad's credit score is better than your dad's!'

'Your assets speak for themselves. They say 'no'.'

"He's extremely intelligent. Right now he's fetching your credit score."

'You have just been put on hold indefintely until you get a decent paying job.'

"You have a rare situation known as 'excellent credit' and I don't know how to deal with it."

'Aren't you afraid of inaccuracies on your credit report?'

'Your credit rating is a bit low but we can still offer you a loan. Do you have a problem with being fitted for an electronic ankle bracelet?'

'I'm afraid we can't use your other outstanding loans as collateral.'

"Your credit rating is fine, Mr. Deadbeat. It's something else that's making lending institutions wary."