Credit History Collector Gifts

"To open a new credit account, I need to see some credit history."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'Well, so my grades are A,B,C,D... at least I'm learning my alphabet.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

Financial landscape.

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I wonder what this was for."

'How old is this vase?'

An angry Driver stuck behind the 8 Ball.

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

"Daddy says God created Eve out of Adam´s spare credit card!"

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

Misery lit...