Credit History Chuckles Pillows

'Maybe we better airbrush this credit report before applying for a loan.'

British savings accounts

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

"At least we're consistent ... "

Out of control

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

The Decline of the Euro.

God bless our home equity line of credit.

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

A few Halloween costume ideas.

Inflation is a national headache. . . caused by asset indigestion!

Budget Cuts

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

"Baldo, credit cards are a terrible idea! Take it from someone who has 10 of 'em."

"I see you have the latest in accounting software."

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

A man notices the Chase logo has turned into snakes eating themselves."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'Well, call it 'diet stocks'. Your bank account won't get fat because of the dividend income.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off by as much as two dollars.'

"Your condition appears to have deteriorated considerably since your last cheque bounced."

Business men's lunches: Tycoons ?25, On the way downers ?2.50.

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

'Business is very good. We'll soon be moving to smaller premises.'

Who's taken the third quarter?