Credit Card Cutter Pillows

"I'm cutting up your credit cards. Think of it, you can tell your friends you had plastic surgery."

'Doesn't it feel good to be taking care of our planet?'

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

How would Madam like to pay?

"One slice—hold the bread."

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

Roses are occasionally red. Violets are violet not blue. I'm a pedant. So there!

Time-Off Coupons

'Due to concerns about Global Warming...I'm through with cooking.'

fortune teller and credit card.

"I have used this unexpected stay-at-home time to get really good at new skills."

The Atkins Diet.

'What happened mom? I thought you were on a low-carb diet?'

"Sorry, I left my credit cards at home!"

Screwed Again By New Credit Card Rules.

This Green and Pleasant Landfill.

Come inside and let us consolidated all your nagging little debts into one overwhelming obligation!

'All finished. Just the way you like it.'

In the calorie family: 'You're home early?'....'Mrs. Harrison has started dieting again!'

"Es usted Diners' Club?"

'That's why I put on weight! All I eat is carbs!'

"Sure, I take credit cards. Wait here while I max it out.""

'She's found your credit cards, now she's off like a rocket to the shops!'

'I'll never forgive him for having my charge cards wrapped up in his body cast!'

'Our founder!' (A Viking)

"I'm a societal mutation."

Recession.

"Bring on the cold weather - my credit card is already dangerously over-heated."

TELLER, 'How do I go about getting a credit card refilled?'

'I suppose that you say that cutting up your credit cards is 'the un-kindest out of all' - I call it 'plastic surgery'.'

'I'd like to apply for a credit card. . . I'm tired of my cheques bouncing.'