Cable Cutter Pillows

'I can't afford cable, it's the lobby security camera.'

"I'm a societal mutation."

Cord cutter

Man Plugged Into His Stereo.

'Doesn't it feel good to be taking care of our planet?'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

'I told you I'd deal with your transfer request, Jenkins. Cut the deck!'

"One slice—hold the bread."

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

'Due to concerns about Global Warming...I'm through with cooking.'

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

'What happened mom? I thought you were on a low-carb diet?'

The Atkins Diet.

"I never realized how many wires and cords we used. And that's just from my office."

Nest of cables

This Green and Pleasant Landfill.

'Oh, you cut the cord too?'

The kids watch too many stupid shows. I agree. So let's pull the plug! Which one?

Grand Opening! I wish someone had told me those weren't for haircuts.

You should cut the cord. I did it years ago. What do you mean? I canceled cable. I get the same stuff I used to see for much less, by streaming Netflix, Hulu and Amazon through a Roku box

'That's why I put on weight! All I eat is carbs!'

In the calorie family: 'You're home early?'....'Mrs. Harrison has started dieting again!'

"Bury my old power cords here. I just can't bring myself to throw them out."

"I'm cutting up your credit cards. Think of it, you can tell your friends you had plastic surgery."

'I suppose that you say that cutting up your credit cards is 'the un-kindest out of all' - I call it 'plastic surgery'.'

'...You haven't paid your cable bill'

TV News. "Sesame Street" is moving to HBO. There goes the neighborhood!

'Excuse me, I've been waiting seven hours now.'

"Mum, what makes a key maker good at repairing shoes?"

I'm living proof of evolution, Randy. What? Unlike most of America, I don

Man Uses Velvet Rope As Rubber Band

The devil as a puppeteer