Cable Chewer Pillows

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"Must get a longer cable."

"Let me guess, you fell asleep chewing bubble gum again..."

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

"I always wondered why they called you detectives, 'gum shoes'."

Bicycle Pie Chart

"Well, Mr Baskerville, the only puppy hound I have left is this little guy right here." A legend is born.

Minutes since the TV broke.

Is there life after digestion?

"I never realized how many wires and cords we used. And that's just from my office."

The Ekert Saga: 'Whoa...you really like cable news, eh, Ekert?'

"It says, 'I'm hip, I'm radical, I'm out there. I fell asleep with gum in my mouth.'"

"Officer, my husband went back there last night to hook up a DVR... and I haven't seen him since!"

Magazine says 'TV: Includes all digital, cable and satellite listings.' Man says: I've just finished reading the TV guide and it's time for bed.'

"I think we're supposed to connect the positive wire here and the negative wire there. But I can't."

'I still prefer the pipe. A ceremony isn't the same sharing nicotine peace gum.'

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

"So...how'd you like your first kiss?"

"You'd think that manager's wife would order him not to chew with his mouth open!"

"Dear, you can't blame everything on the high price of cable..."

'He chews things.'

'We can't rearrange the furniture...I'll never get this mess hooked up again!'

Telephone companies fighting on a 'Fiber optic' cable

'It's a new reality show on the Women's Channel -- 'Stupid Husband Tricks.''

"Hey, what's the chance we can get some cable TV in here?"

'Can I help it if I have to eat 15 bowls of my cereal to equal Total?'

"I'm a societal mutation."

Four out of five dentists recommend sugarless gum for those patients who chew gum. I'm the 5th dentist. I need the business.

A day without cable ends badly.

"Walking while chewing gum is easy. But throwing in staying on top of your social media really kicks it up a notch."

'Spit that gum out, Kovaleski! -- You know you're no good at multitasking!'