Cable Killer Pillows

"I never realized how many wires and cords we used. And that's just from my office."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Must get a longer cable."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

F&E Cable Co. Sports. Movies. Special. 500 Channels. When you list the options in the cable package, call it "BBC America," not "The English Channel."

Minutes since the TV broke.

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

'I think we found the cause of your modem lag.'

Finally free of cable TV costs

"Officer, my husband went back there last night to hook up a DVR... and I haven't seen him since!"

Magazine says 'TV: Includes all digital, cable and satellite listings.' Man says: I've just finished reading the TV guide and it's time for bed.'

'Sorry, I don't take contracts on cats, they're too difficult to bump off: They have nine lives!'

"The doctor says you can go home. We'll get cable."

'I don't know but I think I liked last season's TV violence better than this season's.'

'It's been cut all right. Question anyone in the family who likes to read.'

'Cable rates are only $29.95 a month, but installation will be eight hundred thousand dollars.'

Inexplicably Sharon was not interested in a second date.

"Dear, you can't blame everything on the high price of cable..."

You should cut the cord. I did it years ago. What do you mean? I canceled cable. I get the same stuff I used to see for much less, by streaming Netflix, Hulu and Amazon through a Roku box

"Why would I need 185,000 TV channels??"

'I told you not to touch the hot line!'

'We can't rearrange the furniture...I'll never get this mess hooked up again!'

Telephone companies fighting on a 'Fiber optic' cable

'I see that you make friends easily.'

"I'm a societal mutation."

"I'm fed up... When are they sorting out this wireless network?"

"Hey, what's the chance we can get some cable TV in here?"

"You didn't tell me Tuscany doesn't have cable."

'Hey Dan, your dog' stealing our cable again.'

A day without cable ends badly.