Cable Killer Pillows

"I never realized how many wires and cords we used. And that's just from my office."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Must get a longer cable."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

Minutes since the TV broke.

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

'I think we found the cause of your modem lag.'

Finally free of cable TV costs

"Officer, my husband went back there last night to hook up a DVR... and I haven't seen him since!"

"The doctor says you can go home. We'll get cable."

'I don't know but I think I liked last season's TV violence better than this season's.'

Magazine says 'TV: Includes all digital, cable and satellite listings.' Man says: I've just finished reading the TV guide and it's time for bed.'

'Sorry, I don't take contracts on cats, they're too difficult to bump off: They have nine lives!'

'It's been cut all right. Question anyone in the family who likes to read.'

'Cable rates are only $29.95 a month, but installation will be eight hundred thousand dollars.'

Inexplicably Sharon was not interested in a second date.

"Dear, you can't blame everything on the high price of cable..."

"Why would I need 185,000 TV channels??"

'I told you not to touch the hot line!'

Telephone companies fighting on a 'Fiber optic' cable

'We can't rearrange the furniture...I'll never get this mess hooked up again!'

'I see that you make friends easily.'

"I'm a societal mutation."

"Hey, what's the chance we can get some cable TV in here?"

"I'm fed up... When are they sorting out this wireless network?"

"You didn't tell me Tuscany doesn't have cable."

A day without cable ends badly.

'Hey Dan, your dog' stealing our cable again.'

'Stop grumbling. The cable guy will be here tomorrow.'