Cable Chewer Gifts

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"You were right, I didn't want to stop."

"Must get a longer cable."

"Let me guess, you fell asleep chewing bubble gum again..."

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

"I always wondered why they called you detectives, 'gum shoes'."

Bicycle Pie Chart

Minutes since the TV broke.

"Well, Mr Baskerville, the only puppy hound I have left is this little guy right here." A legend is born.

"I never realized how many wires and cords we used. And that's just from my office."

"It says, 'I'm hip, I'm radical, I'm out there. I fell asleep with gum in my mouth.'"

Is there life after digestion?

The Ekert Saga: 'Whoa...you really like cable news, eh, Ekert?'

"Officer, my husband went back there last night to hook up a DVR... and I haven't seen him since!"

"I think we're supposed to connect the positive wire here and the negative wire there. But I can't."

Magazine says 'TV: Includes all digital, cable and satellite listings.' Man says: I've just finished reading the TV guide and it's time for bed.'

'I still prefer the pipe. A ceremony isn't the same sharing nicotine peace gum.'

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

"Dear, you can't blame everything on the high price of cable..."

You should cut the cord. I did it years ago. What do you mean? I canceled cable. I get the same stuff I used to see for much less, by streaming Netflix, Hulu and Amazon through a Roku box

"So...how'd you like your first kiss?"

"You'd think that manager's wife would order him not to chew with his mouth open!"

Telephone companies fighting on a 'Fiber optic' cable

'We can't rearrange the furniture...I'll never get this mess hooked up again!'

'He chews things.'

'It's a new reality show on the Women's Channel -- 'Stupid Husband Tricks.''

'Can I help it if I have to eat 15 bowls of my cereal to equal Total?'

"I'm a societal mutation."

He starts a lot of projects but doesn't finish them.

"Hey, what's the chance we can get some cable TV in here?"

Four out of five dentists recommend sugarless gum for those patients who chew gum. I'm the 5th dentist. I need the business.

"My new cable tv package has 800 channels. . . all of them featuring people screaming about politics."

"Walking while chewing gum is easy. But throwing in staying on top of your social media really kicks it up a notch."