Card Cutter Pillows

'I suppose that you say that cutting up your credit cards is 'the un-kindest out of all' - I call it 'plastic surgery'.'

We make a Valentine's card out of edible flowers that's been dipped in chocolate. It's got EVERYTHING!

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Thank you bubbles

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'I'm a football referee - I'll have a box of red and a box of yellow.'

Red Card - Gold Card.

Card shark

Business people buying greeting cards.

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

"I'm looking for a card that says 'Your Love Is Priceless' for under $5."

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

Never date a medical illustrator.

"Can't you read? Our shipment is late."

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

Greeting Cards

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

'Occassional cards'

Over the Hill Birthday Cards

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'

'Do you have one that comes with a disclaimer?'

"You trained him to fetch your slippers. I trained him to fetch your credit cards."

Contemporary Consumerism

'You're looking at suspension, but on the plus side your baseball card will go sky high.'

The entire family