Creative Quirk Seeker Gifts

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Hay Rides $10

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

Family members!

Picks your own strawberries....Strangle your own turkeys

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

Unicorn Working From Home

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

"Static cling."

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

'Goodness, the potholes are deep this year, aren't they?'

Bear who goes drinking instead of hibernating

Drinking Companions

Perks

Doubledecker bus stop

I think we should stick to doing this with a piano.

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'See, there are no people in your closet. Now, go to sleep!'

Nit and Flea picking 'Next please...'

Portrait of Shakespeare smoking.

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

Pioneers of the ancient west

"Any other skills?"

'Honda has recalled the U.S. Sixth Fleet due to leaky sunroofs.'

"I can't eat all that."

Pine Hill Hot Dog Water Springs

'And you dolls are the only friends I need to keep me... hey, where are you going?'

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

Successful killers use gas powered chainsaws only.

If you play this record backwards you can hear xmas carols and heavenly choirs...

Movie with dinner: Now serving Texas Chainsaw Casserole.

Ariel prepares for her big date.

'Do you know how to make something called 'Casketon the beach?''