Creative Linguist Gifts

"It's a new word I created. I'm still working on a new definition for it."

Icicle, Bicicle, Bicycle and Icycle.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"It's a play on words."

Direct Marketing...

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

Wordplay: Export.

Target your message

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

How a poet works

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

Heart To Heart

"This medical dictionary has had it's appendix taken out. . . !"

Artichoking victim

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"I understand it all started when he ordered extra toppings on a pizza."

"I appreciate succinct memos, Phillips, but stop writing them all in Haiku!"

Kid to other: 'It's been a crazy day. I caught a bug and tossed my cookies.'

'Actually, when I asked you to bring something fresh to the table, I was talking about ideas!'

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

'Don't jump. It's a book publisher!'