Creative Jokester Pillows

"You don't have a creative bone in your body. I cut it out while you were sleeping."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

A crab with a utility knife claw

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"Someone has hacked into our Computer."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

That isn't what prove you're not a robot means, Bob.

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

"You idiots … we lost!"

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

Artist Painting his Television.

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

Athen's Theater. "Oedipus Rex" didn't test well as a title, Sophocles. How would you feel about calling it "My Big Fat Greek Tragedy"?

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

Broad Minded

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.