Creative Investor Gifts

Pig's Human Bank

"We invest in original art but these days this is all we could afford."

"The secret to his success is: buy low, sell high, follow your nose."

'Wow, talk about genius!'

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

Dog Walker

Stage producer.

Artist Painting Dollar.

'It's for cutting and pasting.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: All in a Day's Work

'You asked for the 'Cartoonists' Cut'. You got the Cartoonists' Cut'. What's the problem?'

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

"He said he's upgraded to selfie sticks."

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

"I know it is a digital production, but this cheque is a digit short."

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

'You won't lose any more money. We're the first fund with a GPS tracking system.'

"It's good but, you were supposed to be painting an apple."

'Now all I have to do is find someone to market this baby.'

'It's my latest invention. I call it 'Picture in a picture.'

"Ready now, Miss Henderson."

Nice custom job, Bill!

"I want to switch all my municipal bonds into stocks, my stocks into T-bill and my T-bills into municipal bonds."

Small Business Loan of Pencils

'I draw on the walls and get time out. They do it and get famous!'

"I am well aware of what my contract says Jerry but this kind of royalty is of no use to me."

"I suggest an investment in Chicken stock."

"I'm not a mad scientist - I'm just a disappointed scientist."

"Restrictions on derivatives, exotic band deals and swaps? How am I going to stimulate my creativity?"

'My broker advises me to have the pork bellies.'

'Thanks to the horoscopes, I became pretty rich! I devise and sell that stuff!'

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

'You can be replaced with CGI ya know!'